Once upon a time, in a far away land
there lived a couple who decided to retire
and enjoy the fruits of their labours.

So they called together their children
and associated grandchildren and all
their dogs and cats and they said to them:

We have decided to take it easy,
so it’s time for you to go.
To make it easy for you, we have decided
to give each of your your favourite things
to take away with you.

So one by one they called
each of their children and associated
spouse and children and dogs and cats
(and in one case a goldfish
who wasn’t very talkative)
and they said, first to Samuel, the eldest:
Sammy, it’s time for you and Irma and
the kids and your dog and cat to leave;
Mammy and I are giving you a
pound of carrots and a pound of fudge gift wrapped”
and they gave them the boot and good luck!
and they said to Lemuel:
Lemmy, it’s time for you and Cassandra to leave;
Mother and I are giving you the
Model T and a pound of fudge gift wrapped”
and they gave them the boot and good luck!
and they said to Gwendolyn:
Gwinnie, it’s time for you and Calvin and
the triplets and the dogs and the gold fish to leave;
Mom and I are giving you the
recipe book and a pound of fudge gift wrapped”
and they gave them the boot and good luck!
and they said to Haliburton:
Bert, it’s time for you and Ziggy and the cats to leave;
Mummy and I are giving you a
certificate for lessons at Fred Astaire Dance Studios
and a pound of no-sugar fudge gift wrapped”
and they gave them the boot and good luck!

The kids stood outside the house on the sidewalk
rubbing their bums and somewhat disconsolate
because they did not know what to do.

to be continued . . .