Dear Master of the Universe:

it has been brought to my attention
by certain aches and pains and
personal plumbing problems
that I have been granted
responsibility for Your revenge on
humanity regarding the misuse of
this planet and possibly
this solar system.

I wish to protest
that I know several people
who have the time
and even the inclination
to suffer immensely
and with great dramatic skill
such as I have neither the training
nor the inclination to undertake.

I would be most grateful
if You would find it in Your capacity
as a wise and all-knowing Being
to shift the burden of the back ache
sore joints, head ache, sore eyes
and the runny nose
to those whose sordid deflation
would be more pleasing to You
than I, who tend to ignore it
most of the time.

Yours truly,
and somewhat ungratefully, I know,
the poet.