ooth care

Pehaps Pearldrops was first
to refer to a Doctor of Dental Surgery
as a “denis”, when
the smiling girl with bright white teeth
told me
right on TV
to “see your denis”
for “whi(t)er, smoother (t)eeth”.

Recently, the makers of
Crest Pro-Health
have a TV spokeswoman
with bright white teeth
who has told me
“After brushing my (t)eeth
I feel like I’ve just been to the denis”.

It’s as if the lack of a “t” in dentist”
makes the word more acceptible
perhaps smoother, whiter, nicer.

So remember ( )o brush your ( )eeth
with a good ( )oothpas( )e
and see your den( )is( ) regularly.
I( )’s grea( ) advice!

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begin

After the grandchildren leave—
and I am certain the same was true
when their parents were their age—
our carpets, in fact,
all horizontal surfaces,
are littered—nay, saturated—
with what could be confetti,
but is more likely
small visible bits of primal goop.

I come to this
!!astounding scientific breakthrough!!
by virtue of the observation
that there seems to be no source
for this matter; to wit:
the innocent hands
are always empty and sticky,
leaving irrefutable evidence
on glass table tops, windows,
glass doors, TV screens;
the innocent faces
are always smiling and agreeable—
when not pouting, crying or screaming;
yet the primal matter
continues to appear!
ergo:
we are witnessing
an act of creation.

Theory:
as the child moves through space—
space defined as any room or universe
the child moves through—
this primal confetti
(I’m trying to keep it simple, dear reader)
forms in the string wake
of the relatively moving body
(relativity and string theory in one sentence!)
hence, the incredible amount of vacuuming
the grands do upon the departure of said
relatively moving bodies.

Thus are universes created in a vacuum.
Thus does all begin.

Posted in Boppin', fun, lotus eaters, Poetry, serial | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

simple

You can trust a child
to see with the clarity of an ant
this crumb be food

to scream at dinner and throw
beet juice at a white suit
when the universe is misaligned

Oh, that children could vote.

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