So the guy is taking a piss
\nin my newly refinished john<\/p>\n
all I can think of is his
\nmist of piss splishing and
\nspraying
\nnot intentionally
\nbut his method of dispersal
\ndoes spray the yellow miasma around
\nin this case
\non those most pristine
\nnewly grouted floor tiles
\nand it occurs to me<\/p>\n
\u2014a guy who has pissed standing
\never since my mother taught me to\u2014<\/p>\n
that we males spew a lot of
\nurine staking territory
\nand
\nthat our women
\nwho squat and dribble discretely
\nlive with creatures who
\nstand astride and spray<\/p>\n
now here is where it gets weirder<\/p>\n
Swift fans will recall that
\nGulliver was revolted by the
\nraunchy bodies of the giant females
\nin Brobdignag who used him
\nmore intimately than
\ncurrently defined in
\nour criminal code.<\/p>\n
Also not in our criminal code
\nour male propensity
\nto spray seems Brobdignagian
\nor maybe skunkish
\nand my modest proposal is
\nthat our women
\nshould<\/p>\n
like Gulliver<\/p>\n
revolt<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A modest proposal regarding the universal male practice of I. P. Standing (#1097) Continue reading