{"id":3328,"date":"2010-04-20T23:15:02","date_gmt":"2010-04-21T03:15:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/?p=3328"},"modified":"2010-05-01T06:57:22","modified_gmt":"2010-05-01T10:57:22","slug":"mercury-retrograde","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/2010\/04\/20\/mercury-retrograde\/","title":{"rendered":"Mercury Retrograde"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>[absurdist dialogue]<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Hi. I just saw the weirdest thing.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve been waiting half an hour.<\/p>\n<p>This old guy gets on the bus<br \/>\nand he&#8217;s carrying this little accordion.<\/p>\n<p>I have to leave in ten minutes;<br \/>\nI get docked if I&#8217;m late.<\/p>\n<p>So, like, the bus driver starts freaking.<br \/>\nHe says, &#8220;Not today, Armand:<br \/>\nyou play one note, and I pull over,<br \/>\nand you&#8217;re on the side of the road.<\/p>\n<p>Of course they always come in half-hour late.<br \/>\nI don&#8217;t see <em>them<\/em> getting docked.<br \/>\nThey make two, three times as much<br \/>\nas I do, and for what?<br \/>\nFlip&#8217;em the bird I say.<\/p>\n<p>So the old guy flips the strap off<br \/>\nstarts to play and dance. Like<br \/>\nhe&#8217;s just playing a massive nothing<br \/>\nloud, and kind of shuffling around.<\/p>\n<p>The one sits shuffling paper all day,<br \/>\nthe other sits yelling for paper all day,<br \/>\nand bitch-women shuffles between them<br \/>\npassing the paper they&#8217;ve already shuffled<br \/>\nto death, so they can shuffle it some more.<\/p>\n<p>So the driver stops the bus<br \/>\nin the middle of nowhere,<br \/>\nyells at the old guy to leave,<br \/>\nrants on that he doesn&#8217;t care<br \/>\nif the old guy is late for an appointment<br \/>\nto play the accordion for St. Peter.<\/p>\n<p>Gotta go. Nice talking to you.<br \/>\nNext time, try to be on time.<\/p>\n<p>Hey, I just got here. Where you-<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>NaPoWriMo day 20: I have gone through computer, technology and communications problems like I wouldn&#8217;t believe, lately. Is mercury retrograde real? (#1071) <a href=\"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/2010\/04\/20\/mercury-retrograde\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[890,3,56],"tags":[873,919,461,57],"class_list":["post-3328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-napowrimo","category-poetry","category-technology","tag-absurdity","tag-astrology","tag-humor","tag-humour"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3328"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3328\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}