He had several theories about why he couldn’t talk to women:
\nhe could not look one in the eye
\nwithout thinking she could read his mind
\nand would be totally scandalized;
\nwomen talk face-to-face,
\nand men talk side-by-side;
\nthe beauty of women
\nmade his eyes water so he couldn’t see;
\nwomen thought so fast
\nhis slow thoughts were torture
\nfor them, and for him;
\nthe Mars\/Venus theory,
\nthe fights of his parents,
\nthe impossibility that any woman
\ncould ever love him
\nor anyone like him.<\/p>\n
He was somewhat surprised
\nwhen he finally, by accident
\nhe was sure, did land a
\nperfectly amazing girlfriend,
\nthat she was perfectly content
\nto spend as much time as he wanted
\nas blithely naked as any fantasy
\nhe could ever have concocted;
\nin fact, he could never have
\ninvented anything in the feverish
\nactivities of his lonely room
\nto approach her completely natural
\napproach to his body and hers.<\/p>\n
The more he thought about this
\nwonderful state of affairs,
\nthe more he realized that sex
\nwas not the only area of his life
\nabout which his very early education
\nhad misled him, and he began to discover
\nthat he had natural rhythm and perfect pitch,
\nand could sing and dance like a star;
\nthat he liked reading, was a passable writer,
\nwas a pretty good student, was reliable,
\nand that he loved talking to his girlfriend.<\/p>\n
He did however retain the ability to blush,
\nto hesitate, and to speak slowly and look
\nsideways, and a little bit down.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Some people have a terrible time relating to anyone, particularly somebody they would like. The moment of discovery can be a real epiphany. (#1047) Continue reading