{"id":1363,"date":"2008-12-29T00:54:18","date_gmt":"2008-12-29T04:54:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/?p=1363"},"modified":"2008-12-29T00:58:45","modified_gmt":"2008-12-29T04:58:45","slug":"sitting-in-a-three-armed-gown-revision-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/2008\/12\/29\/sitting-in-a-three-armed-gown-revision-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Sitting in a three-armed gown (fourth revision)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The technician in the aqua lab coat<br \/>\nsummoned the balding guy<br \/>\nwith the slightly bleeding<br \/>\nshunt in the crook of his arm,<br \/>\nwith whom I had commiserated<br \/>\nabout the insipid iodine cocktail<br \/>\nwe were both sipping:<br \/>\nhe departed clutching at<br \/>\nthe back of his hospital gown.<\/p>\n<p>Did I hear people in the corridor?<br \/>\nI added a three-armed gown<br \/>\nto my exhortations of the universe:<br \/>\nworld peace, an end to global warming<br \/>\na cure for cancer or whatever was growing<br \/>\naround the mystery shadows in my gut:<br \/>\nO, to depart for my CT scan<br \/>\nwith my hairy ass inside the gown.<\/p>\n<p>Primitive calm still held together<br \/>\nby shirt and hand-knit sweater<br \/>\ncorduroy trousers, shoes and socks<br \/>\nand a thin glow of perspiration,<br \/>\nI focused on my paperback:<br \/>\n<em>El Magnifico<\/em> was about to face the bulls<br \/>\nand I my current task: two beakers<br \/>\nof iodine to swig.<\/p>\n<p>A pair of women joined the party:<br \/>\nan elderly patient whose husband<br \/>\ndied twenty-seven years ago,<br \/>\nand her friend whose husband<br \/>\nfollowed suit last year.<\/p>\n<p>They related their mishaps with<br \/>\ndogs gifted by anxious relatives<br \/>\nwho seemed to think furry distraction<br \/>\nwas better than none.<\/p>\n<p>Soon the elder\u2019s beverage arrived,<br \/>\nand we gaily debated whether<br \/>\nthe tepid, slightly metallic fluid<br \/>\ntasted more like dilute bad wine<br \/>\nor dilute bad pee. I ventured<br \/>\n<em>El Magnifico<\/em> would have us<br \/>\nsuck lemons and salt and pretend<br \/>\nit was dilute bad tequila.<br \/>\nWe subsided into our respective<br \/>\nwaiting room meditations.<\/p>\n<p>The technician handed me a loosely<br \/>\nfolded pale green cloth something.<br \/>\n<em>In that booth, take off everything<br \/>\nbut your shoes, socks, and underpants.<br \/>\nDo you know how to put on<br \/>\na three-armed gown?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Donning my three-armed suit of lights<br \/>\nwas easy: shrug into the first two arms<br \/>\nas usual, then fling the remainder<br \/>\nacross the front, turn and thrust<br \/>\nmy arm into the third sleeve.<\/p>\n<p>When I emerged from the cubicle<br \/>\nthe older widow regarded the layers<br \/>\nof shirt, pants, undershirt<br \/>\nshelved on my forearms\u2014<br \/>\n<em>Your wife has you well-trained:<br \/>\nI could never get my husband to fold<br \/>\nanything\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n<p>she shuddered as if something cold<br \/>\nhad arrived.<\/p>\n<p>I sat facing her in my three-armed gown<br \/>\npressing my hairy knees together.<br \/>\nThe flat pile of clothes became a table<br \/>\nfor my fists, which felt disconnected<br \/>\nfrom me: they should be holding burgers<br \/>\nor beer; they should be proffering a <em>muleta<\/em><br \/>\nor thrusting an <em>espada grande.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I wanted to notice her<br \/>\nfifty years ago across a crowded <em>corrida<\/em>,<br \/>\nher index finger tracing her full red lips<br \/>\ninstead of worrying the rim of the empty<br \/>\npaper cup.<\/p>\n<p>I was eating lunch at Jimmy\u2019s place<br \/>\nand had finished my beef stew but<br \/>\nJimmy\u2019s mother<br \/>\nglared at her ration books<br \/>\nJimmy hadn\u2019t touched his<br \/>\nand she was going to open her mouth<br \/>\nand the comparison was going to come out<br \/>\nand drive an <em>espada<\/em> right down the table.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know, I just folded them<br \/>\nand<br \/>\nand her husband hadn\u2019t finished his<br \/>\nand the damn three-armed gown<br \/>\nwas making me keep my knees together.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Glossary:<br \/>\n<em>corrida<\/em>: a bull fight<br \/>\n<em>muleta<\/em>: red cloth on a stick, used in the final stages of a bull fight<br \/>\n<em>espada<\/em>: sword<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The technician in the aqua lab coat summoned the balding guy with the slightly bleeding shunt in the crook of his arm, with whom I had commiserated about the insipid iodine cocktail we were both sipping: he departed clutching at &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/2008\/12\/29\/sitting-in-a-three-armed-gown-revision-2\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,3],"tags":[201,295,84,88],"class_list":["post-1363","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aging","category-poetry","tag-health","tag-hospital","tag-medical","tag-revision"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1363","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1363"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1363\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1363"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1363"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riverwriter.ca\/wordcurrents\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1363"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}