Splish-splash

So the guy is taking a piss
in my newly refinished john

all I can think of is his
mist of piss splishing and
spraying
not intentionally
but his method of dispersal
does spray the yellow miasma around
in this case
on those most pristine
newly grouted floor tiles
and it occurs to me

—a guy who has pissed standing
ever since my mother taught me to—

that we males spew a lot of
urine staking territory
and
that our women
who squat and dribble discretely
live with creatures who
stand astride and spray

now here is where it gets weirder

Swift fans will recall that
Gulliver was revolted by the
raunchy bodies of the giant females
in Brobdignag who used him
more intimately than
currently defined in
our criminal code.

Also not in our criminal code
our male propensity
to spray seems Brobdignagian
or maybe skunkish
and my modest proposal is
that our women
should

like Gulliver

revolt

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