Philology III


For too long, “ass” has been king
Or perversely, queen:
Asshole, piece of ass, embarass —

More than toilet paper dragging from the royal shoe,
You have to admit,
embarass does analogize
Perfectly the chagrin of being humiliated;
(Is “anal” the star of analogize, analize?)
What diminishes hubris more poignantly
Than being suddenly, publicly bare-assed?

— to continue: ass (itself), my ass, asswipe —
All these expressions (and more) capture our disdain
By equating someone or some condition to the
“Unclean” and unmentionable hole in one’s anatomy.

No more.

Let us consider “arse”.

Like “ass”, arse is earthy, derogatory, and descriptive;
Unlike “ass”, its gutteral strength enriches its aural impact,
And “arse” is refreshing in religious and royal circles,
Having been a secret icon of the sub-vulgate.

So surprise your friend:
Apostrophize him or her:
You arse, you horse’s arse, you arsehole —
She will, he will love you for taking such pains to be
Freshly, imaginatively vulgar.

Up your arse!

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About riverwriter

Poet, playwright, duplicate bridge player, website designer, cottager, husband, father, grandfather, former athlete, carpenter, computer helper for my friends, theatre designer, backstage polymath, retired teacher of highschool English, drama, art, a baritone singer in a barbershop quartet, who knows what else? wordcurrents is on Facebook: Doug also has a Facebook page, "Incognitio", related to his novels.
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